Faking it

Before self-healing can begin; I would suggest that you take an honest look at yourself, your environment, and your behaviours.  Ask yourself; where it is that you are not being authentic?  When are you faking it?

You’ve probably faked an orgasm.  You’ve probably faked that you liked a gift.  You’ve probably faked that you are feeling differently than what you actually are. I call that faking it conscientiously.  You choose to fake it, for the good of another.  Your lover didn’t need to know that you were tired, and just wanted to go to sleep.  Your grandmother didn’t need to know that you wouldn’t ever wear the bright green sweater that she knitted especially for you. The bank teller didn’t need to know that you weren’t feeling fine; you were miserably constipated.  So you conscientiously faked it.  You told them what they wanted to hear.  You had good intentions.  No harm, no foul.

Conscious faking it; is when we misrepresent our self, in spite of our self.  We choose to pretend to be something other than what we are.  For instance, I stopped to help a man who was sitting in the middle of a long flight of stairs.  He was sweating, and he was short of breath.  It was obvious that his morbid obesity was hindering his ascent.  I offered my services as a nurse but he assured me he would be fine.  He explained that he needed a minute to rest his “weak ankles.”  He knew that I knew that his ankles were not the problem; and I knew that he knew too.  He was consciously faking it.

Unconscious faking it is more abstract. This is when we believe something so much that we create it in our reality.  Unconsciously, I was living in fear of being murdered, but I believed that I had a heart condition. I unconsciously faked it until I became exactly what I believed myself to be.

You are exactly who you believe yourself to be.


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Healing with Reiki

I pay attention to my words.  I try not to use the adverbs of always and never. “I always do that…I never do that.”  Either word seems like a commitment to an extreme.  My experience has taught me to never, say never.

Unconditional is another word that I use with discretion.  I appreciate the definition that conditions never apply; always.

So for me, the term Unconditional Love, is ambitious; to say the least.

Reiki is defined as Universal Life Force Energy.  It is the energy of Unconditional Love.  It can never harm.  It can never be depleted.  It follows the universal principle of as you give, so shall you receive.

The physical sensations of Reiki differ from person to person.  Some may feel temperature changes, while some feel vibrations.  Others feel no physical sensations at all.  Some people become emotional when a blockage is removed.  Some people feel like a weight has been lifted from them.

A chronic blockage may take longer to heal than an acute one.

You should rest and drink plenty of water after receiving Reiki.

The magic of Reiki is that it flows to where it is needed.  I am only the channel through which it flows.  It’s an incredible sensation.  It rivals the surge of love that one feels when they think about their baby’s face, and their lover’s embrace, mixed with the emotions of gratitude, compassion, and forgiveness.

The experience humbles me every time.

I have suggested that Reiki occurs while you read my novel.  I call it passive therapy.  When we feel compassion for someone else, or for ourselves, we are experiencing Reiki.

Healing begins with our thoughts.


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The first step toward Self-Healing

One of the mutable laws of the Universe is the Law of Polarity.  It says that everything has an identical opposite or pole.  Good and bad; hot and cold; north and south.  There are two sides to everything and even when things seem to be complete opposites, they are really just varying degrees of the same thing.  Is the water hot or is it less cold?  Is the glass half empty or half full?

I believe that our Human-ness and our Being-ness, observe this law too.  Both are as necessary as the other.  It is the degree to which that defines our experience.

Our Human-ness engages our Ego.  There is a common misconception that our Ego is bad. But Ego is neither good, nor bad.  It speaks literally from our Human experience.  It tells us not to touch the stove again, even if we can’t remember burning our finger as a child.  This voice is necessary for our survival.  It tries to protect us from getting burned again.  In many ways; Human it is the voice of our wounds.

The opposing pole to our Human-ness, is our Being-ness. This voice uses words of love and compassion.  It says that we have always been where we needed to be.  It encourages that we never fail, we learn.  It is the kiss for our boo boo.  It is the voice of our healing.

The first step in our Self-Healing is learning to recognize both voices.

Listen carefully to the language that you use when you re-tell your experiences.  What was happening when you burned your finger?  Are you a victim of the stove’s malice?  Is someone else’s negligence responsible for your burn?  Do you always get burned?  Is that why you are still afraid of stoves?  How many times did you get burned?

Is it the voice of Human, or the voice of Being that you hear the most?

If Human is loudly recounting a painful story; acknowledge it.  Dissect it.  Understand the how, when and why you tell the story as you do.  Accept that it has become your emotional familiarity through repetition.  Appreciate that the painful emotions are not haunting you; you are haunting them.

Then change the story that serves no purpose but to make you feel badly about your experience. Revise it.  Let Being tell the story instead.  Be grateful that you didn’t need to get burned by an iron, a match, and steam before you figured out that it was about temperature, not just the stove.  Reinforce the version where you are the HERO who learned to use the stove without getting burned again.

Celebrate your healing one decibel at a time.


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Yes, you can feel better.

There was a time in my life when I was consumed by a belief that I had an unstable heart condition.  Frequently, my heart would quiver or gallop while my throat felt like it was clamping down on a lodged golf ball.  My pulse would become irregular, and my blood pressure would spike.

It made perfect sense that at 46, my horrendous family history of heart disease was threatening.  I began to tip-toe through my life with fingers crossed.  My goal was to survive long enough to complete the extensive cardiac testing with a diagnosis, prognosis, and magic prescription in hand.

When all of the tests came back negative, I had to consider that my symptoms were psychological.  As a nurse who has worked in mental health for nearly 30 years; it was a hard pill for me to swallow.  I was so sure that it was my heart.

Life was trying to get my attention.  I had ignored the whisper until I could no longer shut off the noise of my misfiring internal alarm.  My physical and emotional body was constricting from fear. Something needed to change but I didn’t know the what, let alone the how.  I only knew that I wanted silence.

My self-healing began when I recognized that I wasn’t in denial; I was in familiarity. Familiarity for me consisted of verbal and physical violence.  What I had experienced in my childhood had shown up in my relationships and in my career choice.  It was what I knew.  It was where I felt at home.  My own thoughts attracted it to me.  I wasn’t a victim, I was an active participant.

Many of us assume that outside sources are responsible for our problems. We live in resistance without even realizing it.  Our EGO tells us that we are as happy as we can possibly be; and more often than not, we believe it.  We detach emotionally with the aid of our favourite pain distractions; or we put our heads down and suffer through our experience.  We don’t appreciate that we could feel better.

Dis-ease is the result of our imbalance.  My story is about learning how to self-heal.  I believe that everyone can easily apply the same techniques to their own bodies.  We can go to our doctors, and we can take the expensive medications that chemically mask our problem, or we can heal the original wound ourselves.  I believe that it really is that simple.

It is my hope that I Remember: A Story of Self-Healing serves as a whisper to those who have not yet realized that they could feel better.  Learning to recognize the whisper is the key to our wellness.

For more information, check out my interview at http://toginet.com/shows/iuniverse


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