Monthly Archives: June 2014


Have you been paying attention to what you are paying attention to?

Have you been playing the Mindful Moment Game?

My friend called me to tell me that she has been playing. She said that she has become more aware of the repeating time. Then she told me that she had an epiphany. I laugh every time that I think of her story.

My friend has been battling her weight all of her life. She jumps on the bandwagon for every new weight loss gimmick and fad diet. Right now, she is on a strict diet where she must weigh and measure everything that goes into her mouth.

She explained to me that since starting this diet 3 months prior, she has gone out of her way to buy a special brand of Hazelnuts, from a specific store. They are premium hazelnuts, and since she gets exactly 20 for her afternoon snack, she wants them to the best that she can buy.

She described that usually, she would finish her snack in three or four mouthfuls. But instead; at 3:33 yesterday, she decided that she was going to play the Mindful Moment Game while she ate her coveted snack.

She took one hazelnut in her hand and noticed the texture of it, the weight of it, and the dusting of salt.

She turned it over and noticed the curves, the colour, and the shine from its oil.

She brought it to her nose, and inhaled its’ scent.

Then she brought it to her lips, and touched it to the tip of her tongue.

She let it sit on top of her tongue.

She meticulously chewed the one nut and then swallowed.

She ate two hazelnuts before throwing the other 18 in the garbage.

She realized that she didn’t even like hazelnuts.

This is your movie. Pay attention to as many moments of it as you can. You are not your past, and you are not your future. You are this moment.


Ivana Vasilj / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

Choose your reaction

Recently, I pulled up to a set of traffic lights and in the lane beside me, and just ahead of me, stretched an old burgundy Cadillac. The woman driver held an unlit cigarette in her hand.

Seconds later, she put her car in park, exited her vehicle, and ran to her trunk to retrieve her purse and I would assume; her lighter.

The light remained red.

She jumped back into her driver’s seat, and lit her cigarette while she fumbled for her seat belt.

The light remained red, and yet the car behind her honked.

Kind of rude, I thought.

Cadillac lady reacted by flipping the driver of the trailing car the bird.

Interesting, I thought.

The light remained red.

The Honking man, put his car in park, and exited his vehicle.

I couldn’t see his expression.

I put my car in park, just in case I needed to help.

The man approached her car and gently closed the trunk that had failed to latch.

Cadillac lady skidded away in an aggressive manner.

Honking man smiled as he got back into his car.

We choose our reactions. Choose them mindfully.

Matito / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-SA 2.0)

Are you paying attention to what you are paying attention to?

Back in the 70’s, kids used to play a game called Punch Buggy. The objective was to spot a Volkswagen Beetle before your opponent did. If you did, you delivered one body punch while you declared “Punch Buggy,” and named its’ colour. If you didn’t spot it first, you would receive a jab.

To be good at the game, I had to pay attention to what I was paying attention to.

I could not afford to be distracted by the model, and colour of each passing car; nor the landscape; the radio; my mother swatting at us; while she told us that hitting people was wrong; my full bladder; or the body language of my brother, which warned of his incoming wallop. I had to be aware of everything going on in my environment while remaining focused on my goal of seeing the VW first.

Our minds wander all the time. We are easily distracted by the day to day thoughts of our lives, our children, our careers, our homes, etc. Our Human-ness regurgitates thoughts of guilt and shame from our past. We think anxious thoughts about the next moment, next day, or next week. We even have thoughts about our thoughts!

We can become over stimulated, overwhelmed and over stressed by our own thoughts. This stress, warns that we are out of balance.

Dis-ease results from the state of chronic imbalance.

The good news is that mindfulness helps. We develop this skill simply by paying attention to what we are paying attention to.

It is much like the game of Punch Buggy. When we are mindful, we focus our attention on one thing at a time, while the noise of our life occurs all around us. We become the Observer. We acknowledge our thoughts, but we don’t participate or react to them, unnecessarily.

With practise, we can filter and prioritize our thoughts. We don’t judge our self for thinking them. We don’t attach an emotional charge to them. We accept that they naturally occur.

This practise elicits a response from our more evolved Being-ness. It evokes our intelligence instead of our stressed-out emotional reaction. We communicate better, our relationships improve, and we learn to manage conflict more effectively. We develop an understanding that we are choosing which thoughts we want to focus on, and our reaction to them. We learn to self-regulate with compassion and empathy.

Practise mindfulness by playing this game with yourself. Every time that you notice a clock where the numbers repeat; such as 10:10 or 2:22, stop for one minute to be mindful. Pay attention only to what you choose to pay attention to.

It doesn’t matter what you do for the minute. Just be aware of your thoughts and the noise of your environment while focusing on one specific thing. Eat mindfully. Whistle mindfully. Close your eyes and breathe mindfully. Focus on your digestion, the sensations of the shoes on your feet, or one particular sound, for one full minute.

When a distracting thought occurs, acknowledge it and decide to think about it at a later time if needed. Then calmly return your focus to your mindfulness task. No emotions, no judgement, just passing thoughts.

Choose what thoughts you focus on. You are in control.

Compassionately change the thoughts that do not serve you.

Patiently practise until you master them.

Yazuu / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0)

It’s your movie

The source of your suffering is not outside of you.  It is within the story of who and what, you believe yourself to be.

Take a step back and become the observer of your experience. Listen very carefully to the story that you are telling.  What words are you using when you describe the reasons why you don’t or can’t?  Who or what is to blame?  Are circumstances and situations happening to you?  Are you pointing your finger at a parent, your spouse, your boss, or your genetic predisposition?   Why are you a victim?

What if you accepted that you were the creator of your problems?  Would it change the manner in which you react to them?

I think it would.

I believe that each one of us is making our own movie about our own unique experience.  It is our purpose.  We play the leading role in the movie.  We write the screenplay, and we direct every scene.  The Universe co-produces with us.

Unconscious Movie Makers are oblivious to this theory.  They believe that life is happening to them, not for them.  They do not appreciate that in every moment they are creating another scene for their movie.

This problem is easily rectified by becoming a Conscious Movie Maker.

Begin by understanding that your movie can be about whatever you choose.  You can be the victim, the villain or the hero in it.  Don’t worry about the critics.  Your only concern should be making your own movie to be as awesome as it can be.

Edit the scenes that you have so far.  Keep in mind that you are the only person who is going to see your movie from beginning to end.  Don’t keep the scenes with bad lighting or horrible acting.  Keep all of the scenes where you are the Superhero.  Keep the ones where you learned important life lessons too.

Update your screenplay, frequently.  Decide as soon as possible what the theme of your movie is going to be.  If you are not sure, just follow your heart.  It will lead you.

Make sure that your character is everything that you want it to be. The only limitation is your own imagination.  Write in that you are healthy, sexy, and rich!  Give the money away if you like, but at least write it in.

Write in your dreams, your desires, and your successes.  Write in great love stories, a supportive family, and loyal friends.  Write in a few scenes with bad guys, for dramatic effect if you like, but don’t waste too much of your valuable film on them.

Write in that your movie does make a difference.

Send your screenplay to Universe, your co-producer.  Be very specific when making a request, because there is a language barrier.  Establish a great working relationship built on trust.  Express your gratitude when you get exactly what you asked for.

Be a great Actor.  Practice for your big scenes by staying in character all of the time.  If you fall out of character, it’s okay, it happens to everyone.  Get back on your mark as soon as possible.

Direct each scene with passion and purpose.  If you don’t like the way that the scene is going; stop shooting and fix it.  Hire new actors; get a different backdrop or set.  Request a meeting with the co-producer and make all of the necessary adjustments so that the scene is exactly as you want it.  Don’t let anyone mess with your artistic license.  It’s your movie, after all.

ARMLE / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

Faking it

Before self-healing can begin; I would suggest that you take an honest look at yourself, your environment, and your behaviours.  Ask yourself; where it is that you are not being authentic?  When are you faking it?

You’ve probably faked an orgasm.  You’ve probably faked that you liked a gift.  You’ve probably faked that you are feeling differently than what you actually are. I call that faking it conscientiously.  You choose to fake it, for the good of another.  Your lover didn’t need to know that you were tired, and just wanted to go to sleep.  Your grandmother didn’t need to know that you wouldn’t ever wear the bright green sweater that she knitted especially for you. The bank teller didn’t need to know that you weren’t feeling fine; you were miserably constipated.  So you conscientiously faked it.  You told them what they wanted to hear.  You had good intentions.  No harm, no foul.

Conscious faking it; is when we misrepresent our self, in spite of our self.  We choose to pretend to be something other than what we are.  For instance, I stopped to help a man who was sitting in the middle of a long flight of stairs.  He was sweating, and he was short of breath.  It was obvious that his morbid obesity was hindering his ascent.  I offered my services as a nurse but he assured me he would be fine.  He explained that he needed a minute to rest his “weak ankles.”  He knew that I knew that his ankles were not the problem; and I knew that he knew too.  He was consciously faking it.

Unconscious faking it is more abstract. This is when we believe something so much that we create it in our reality.  Unconsciously, I was living in fear of being murdered, but I believed that I had a heart condition. I unconsciously faked it until I became exactly what I believed myself to be.

You are exactly who you believe yourself to be.

Too Busy to Study / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)










Healing with Reiki

I pay attention to my words.  I try not to use the adverbs of always and never. “I always do that…I never do that.”  Either word seems like a commitment to an extreme.  My experience has taught me to never, say never.

Unconditional is another word that I use with discretion.  I appreciate the definition that conditions never apply; always.

So for me, the term Unconditional Love, is ambitious; to say the least.

Reiki is defined as Universal Life Force Energy.  It is the energy of Unconditional Love.  It can never harm.  It can never be depleted.  It follows the universal principle of as you give, so shall you receive.

The physical sensations of Reiki differ from person to person.  Some may feel temperature changes, while some feel vibrations.  Others feel no physical sensations at all.  Some people become emotional when a blockage is removed.  Some people feel like a weight has been lifted from them.

A chronic blockage may take longer to heal than an acute one.

You should rest and drink plenty of water after receiving Reiki.

The magic of Reiki is that it flows to where it is needed.  I am only the channel through which it flows.  It’s an incredible sensation.  It rivals the surge of love that one feels when they think about their baby’s face, and their lover’s embrace, mixed with the emotions of gratitude, compassion, and forgiveness.

The experience humbles me every time.

I have suggested that Reiki occurs while you read my novel.  I call it passive therapy.  When we feel compassion for someone else, or for ourselves, we are experiencing Reiki.

Healing begins with our thoughts.

michmutters / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)