One of the mutable laws of the Universe is the Law of Polarity. It says that everything has an identical opposite or pole. Good and bad; hot and cold; north and south. There are two sides to everything and even when things seem to be complete opposites, they are really just varying degrees of the same thing. Is the water hot or is it less cold? Is the glass half empty or half full?
I believe that our Human-ness and our Being-ness, observe this law too. Both are as necessary as the other. It is the degree to which that defines our experience.
Our Human-ness engages our Ego. There is a common misconception that our Ego is bad. But Ego is neither good, nor bad. It speaks literally from our Human experience. It tells us not to touch the stove again, even if we can’t remember burning our finger as a child. This voice is necessary for our survival. It tries to protect us from getting burned again. In many ways; Human it is the voice of our wounds.
The opposing pole to our Human-ness, is our Being-ness. This voice uses words of love and compassion. It says that we have always been where we needed to be. It encourages that we never fail, we learn. It is the kiss for our boo boo. It is the voice of our healing.
The first step in our Self-Healing is learning to recognize both voices.
Listen carefully to the language that you use when you re-tell your experiences. What was happening when you burned your finger? Are you a victim of the stove’s malice? Is someone else’s negligence responsible for your burn? Do you always get burned? Is that why you are still afraid of stoves? How many times did you get burned?
Is it the voice of Human, or the voice of Being that you hear the most?
If Human is loudly recounting a painful story; acknowledge it. Dissect it. Understand the how, when and why you tell the story as you do. Accept that it has become your emotional familiarity through repetition. Appreciate that the painful emotions are not haunting you; you are haunting them.
Then change the story that serves no purpose but to make you feel badly about your experience. Revise it. Let Being tell the story instead. Be grateful that you didn’t need to get burned by an iron, a match, and steam before you figured out that it was about temperature, not just the stove. Reinforce the version where you are the HERO who learned to use the stove without getting burned again.
Celebrate your healing one decibel at a time.