There was a time in my life when I was consumed by a belief that I had an unstable heart condition. Frequently, my heart would quiver or gallop while my throat felt like it was clamping down on a lodged golf ball. My pulse would become irregular, and my blood pressure would spike.
It made perfect sense that at 46, my horrendous family history of heart disease was threatening. I began to tip-toe through my life with fingers crossed. My goal was to survive long enough to complete the extensive cardiac testing with a diagnosis, prognosis, and magic prescription in hand.
When all of the tests came back negative, I had to consider that my symptoms were psychological. As a nurse who has worked in mental health for nearly 30 years; it was a hard pill for me to swallow. I was so sure that it was my heart.
Life was trying to get my attention. I had ignored the whisper until I could no longer shut off the noise of my misfiring internal alarm. My physical and emotional body was constricting from fear. Something needed to change but I didn’t know the what, let alone the how. I only knew that I wanted silence.
My self-healing began when I recognized that I wasn’t in denial; I was in familiarity. Familiarity for me consisted of verbal and physical violence. What I had experienced in my childhood had shown up in my relationships and in my career choice. It was what I knew. It was where I felt at home. My own thoughts attracted it to me. I wasn’t a victim, I was an active participant.
Many of us assume that outside sources are responsible for our problems. We live in resistance without even realizing it. Our EGO tells us that we are as happy as we can possibly be; and more often than not, we believe it. We detach emotionally with the aid of our favourite pain distractions; or we put our heads down and suffer through our experience. We don’t appreciate that we could feel better.
Dis-ease is the result of our imbalance. My story is about learning how to self-heal. I believe that everyone can easily apply the same techniques to their own bodies. We can go to our doctors, and we can take the expensive medications that chemically mask our problem, or we can heal the original wound ourselves. I believe that it really is that simple.
It is my hope that I Remember: A Story of Self-Healing serves as a whisper to those who have not yet realized that they could feel better. Learning to recognize the whisper is the key to our wellness.
For more information, check out my interview at http://toginet.com/shows/iuniverse